Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
