Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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