dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
40s are totally the cure
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
