if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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