I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
