At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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