A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
