PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
