R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
