Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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