let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
