I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
