He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
