i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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