i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
