Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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