A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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