I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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