I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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