Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
