He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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