I could make wine with my vomit
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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