think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
