It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
