dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
