operation harelip BJ is a go
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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