my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
