I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
