So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
