Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
