so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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