I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
