i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
