So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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