So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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