Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
sex in a hospital.. check
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
