I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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