The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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