Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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