Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Randomize
