So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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