i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
