We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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