I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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