sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
