i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
