Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
