Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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