I bet he comes in French.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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