you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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