Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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