Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
too bad you live with your parents still
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
